I feel nothing.

nothing

Do I have your attention? Let me clarify.

I feel nothing, and it feels GREAT.

Still confused? I’ll explain.

I’m currently in the process of packing up my apartment and moving to a new place in a new city. When I moved into my current apartment, it was out of necessity. I had just broken up with my boyfriend and had a week to get out of the apartment we shared before he returned from work. I had friends that lived at this complex, so I signed out of immediate need.

In the process of packing up the apartment, I came across an old box of mementos from my relationship that I had asked my mom to hide somewhere when I moved in. I wasn’t quite ready then to let go of some things. When I opened the box, there were about a hundred pictures, and some “gifts” he had given me. The pictures went in the garbage, and the trinkets went in a box to donate.

I FELT NOTHING. Well, I felt sad for the money spent on what I was looking at.

I’ve been far removed from this relationship for a while now. He wasn’t right for me, and thank goodness I got out of there. I was emotionally alone in that relationship six months before we actually broke up. It’s still the most liberating feeling to run into a situation like that and realize that the emotion is completely gone. All that’s left is a stuffed dog. I can’t get rid of it because Olivia loves to rip it apart. Really, there’s nothing better than seeing that.

Ladies, or anyone who is going through a breakup, keep your eyes open for that moment. The defining moment when a connection comes up, and there are no feelings present. Whether you feel that’s the moment you’re officially over the person, or that’s just the day you realize how free you are, look for it and embrace it.

I originally posted this last week on Medium. Sometimes it’s a bit easier to post the more personal things somewhere else first.

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