Being a Maid of Honor is a huge accomplishment and moment to be proud of. It means that you have successfully developed a friendship with another girl so well that she wants you by her side on her wedding day. That, or you’re extremely organized, and the bride knows she can count on you for anything. I am so honored that my best friend FROM PRESCHOOL has asked me to be her Maid of Honor next spring. (Thus, I’m creating a ton of new wedding content and updating a lot of what I’ve done already!)
Everyone remembers the pretty standard requirements of being a Maid of Honor at a wedding:
- Don’t upstage the bride.
- Hold her bouquet during the ceremony.
- Fix the train for pictures.
- Give a speech.
- Coordinate a bachelorette party.
- Don’t forget the ring(s).
- Be there for everything.
The list goes on and on. You’re an important part of the day for both the bride and groom. Yes, they may have a wedding coordinator, but they pay him/her. They’re not paying you to help, which means that they’re expecting you to know what your purpose is.
However, there’s a whole list of duties that no one tells you the first time you’re involved in this pivotal role. I’m here to help. Some of these are goofy, but you should be ready for all of them.
- Help the bride go to the bathroom. Both as a MOH and an event assistant, I’ve had to help the bride use the restroom. You’ve got to hold a lot of dress or even the bride herself.
- Feed them! Goodness, everyone always forgets to eat the day of the wedding. The bride most likely has some nervous jitters leading up to the ceremony and didn’t eat. (Make sure there is lunch while you’re getting ready!) Then, she gets to the reception where there’s (most likely) alcohol to drink and guests to see. Make sure that the bride (and the groom) sit down and eat. Also, if the bride hasn’t worked it out with the caterers, see if they can put together a “honeymoon basket” for them (AKA leftovers). One trend that I really love is a “sweetheart dinner” where the bride and groom take 20-30 minutes to eat dinner just the two of them before the night gets too crazy.
- Know the bustle. If a bride has a significant train on her dress, she’s probably getting a bustle to tuck it all in for the reception. There are a few different bustles to worry about. If you get a chance, go to the bride’s last dress fitting or play with the bustle before the ceremony. Really, you should be at the final fitting, or FaceTime in for the final fitting. These dress wizards have so many tips and tricks for getting brides dressed and comfortable. Listen to their wisdom.
- Getaway bag. Make sure your bride has a “getaway bag”. Whether they’re in the car for a lap around the block back to the hotel, or they’re driving to an airport, the bride is going to want a change of clothes and some makeup wipes. You can put this in the car at the start of the day, or give it to an event planner to take care of as the day goes on. This is also where the “honeymoon basket” comes into play. You would be surprised how many brides I have spoken to who are FAMISHED at the end of the night.
- Come equipped with an emergency kit. I’ll do a full post on what you need to include in your emergency kit, but you need to be that “go to” person on the wedding day. Be equipped with breath mints, safety pins, boob tape…whatever you can think of, toss it in a tackle box and have it with you.
- Just spoil the bride. If she’s “done it right,” this will be her only wedding. This season of her life is just a blink. She will be married forever, but she only gets to be spoiled by her best friend/sister/cousin/whathaveyou once.
- Attend all the events. Being a bridesmaid is expensive, but being Maid of Honor is even more expensive. You should attend any and all events to which you are invited. All of these events also come with gift expectations. Pace yourself, but put your best foot forward.
The most important thing to remember is that you really aren’t that special on the bride’s wedding day. Yes, you do get to stand the closest to her in pictures and such, but it’s your ultimate goal to do whatever you can for her on that day. Do your feet hurt, but the bride wants to dance? You best believe you’re on that dance floor. Are you hungry, but the bride needs to pee? You’re going to ask the person next to you to watch your plate while you go help her.
Above all else, just love your bride. You’re sisters or friends or family. This is a special day for her, but also an excuse for you to show her just how much she means to you and how much you want her to be happy. Smile big, hold back the happy tears, and go kill it as the Maid of Honor.